How to talk to a young lesbian about mental health

Gloria, a community health worker, asks Patience about her sleeping patterns and her diet, then she asks her some questions about her personal life, such as “Why do you dress like a boy because you feel like one? Are you worried that your parents are embarrassed of you?” Patience tells Gloria she feels like a girl, she just doesn’t like wearing girly clothes and she doesn’t want a boyfriend and doesn’t know how to tell her parents she likes girls. Gloria tells Patience her sleeping difficulties might be caused by some mental health issues like anxiety or depression.

Gloria suggests Patience tries a new hobby “something that girls like to do”, which might help her fit in better at school. She also suggests Patience tries to find a boyfriend as she might find that she actually likes it and this might end her worries. She offers to pray for Patience to help her “become womanly”. Gloria tells Patience to try the things she is suggesting, but if she continues to have trouble sleeping there is medication she can try.

Gloria says she is sorry Patience is having difficulties. Then she asks: “Do you like to be called Patience or do you have a different name? And do you go by ‘she/her’ or something else?” Patience says her name is fine to use, and she thinks she is a she, but other students keep calling her a boy. Gloria tells her this must be hard, adding: “It is good you have come for some help. Whatever you say to me is okay and won’t be gossiped about.”

Gloria asks Patience about her sleeping patterns and her diet and if she feels comfortable saying any more about what has been happening at school. Patience says she has been beaten up by some boys “to show me I’m not really a boy like them”. Gloria tells Patience that this is not okay and that this bullying might be affecting her mental health, which could be one of the reasons she is not sleeping well. She suggests some strategies for taking care of her mental health, such as trying some exercise she enjoys and eating well. She asks Patience how her relationship is with her family, and Patience says she can is close to her Aunt. Gloria suggest that speaking to her Aunt about what is happening at school might be a good idea. Gloria tells Patience that speaking to a friendly-counsellor could also help her cope with her circumstances, and makes a referral. She also gives Patience details of a local LGBT+ youth group.