Why positively framing safer sex can improve condom use

How we talk about safer sex matters.  Our tone and words matter. They shape how young people see their sexual health. They also affect whether young people choose to use condoms. 

Positive framing and condom use: what’s the evidence? 

 Safer sex education often focuses on the risks. It talks about things like STIs and unplanned pregnancy. These are the dangers of having sex without a condom. 

But focusing on fear isn’t great at changing people’s behaviours. As this 2024 study and this global evidence review show, presenting condoms positively, by connecting them with things like foreplay or building respect in a relationship, is more likely to encourage safer sex practices.  

Four tips for talking positively about condoms 

Here are four things you can try to frame safer sex in a positive way with young people. 

1. No embarrassment, no judgement – and no assumptions 

Approach the conversation in a friendly, relaxed way, and try to speak to young people as young adults, not children. Let them know there’s no shame in being sexually active if they are. But don’t assume anything about the kind of sex a young person may (or may not) be having. Try to create an embarrassment-free, judgement-free zone where young people feel safe to share.  

2. Don’t be shy about sexual pleasure  

Lots of people have sex because it feels good. Don’t shy away from this fact. This way, you can discuss how using condoms can make sex feel even better. These five tips on how to have great sex using condoms will show you what to say to tackle this with confidence. 

3. Look on the bright side 

Keep it light and fun. And remember the importance of using positive language and framing, rather than negative.  

For instance, instead of telling young people they must use a condom to avoid HIV or STIs, you could talk about the joys of stress-free sex.  Worry can ruin the mood. But using a condom helps you relax. You can enjoy the moment, knowing you're protecting yourself and your partner. Or you could discuss the fun that can be had by finding the type of condom that gives them and their partner the most pleasure. 

4. Be real 

Condoms have an unsexy reputation. And some people link them to promiscuity. Acknowledge these things.  Flip the script. Talk about the good side of condoms. They can help you feel closer. They can make sex better. Here are six great reasons for using condoms and four reasons to love lube to help you get started. 

Starting conversations about pleasure and protection  

If you’re unsure how to begin a positive safer sex conversation, why not try asking one of these questions? Click on each question for ideas to get the conversation going and links to relevant advice and information.  

• What do you want from your sex life?
• How can you make using condoms part of the fun of having sex?
• Can you talk about sexual health with your friends and partner?
• What are the best ways to show your partner you trust them? 

There are loads more conversation starters on Be in the KNOW, so dive in and get talking. 

Our condom content has you covered 

There is loads of content on Be in the KNOW to help you have stigma-free safer sex conversations. 

This page offers advice on discussing safer sex with a partner. Or check out these shareable animations on how to have good relationships and great sex, including one on how to use condoms to enhance pleasure. There’s even a fun condom quiz so young people can test their knowledge about condoms and what is so great about using them.

All our content is co-designed by young people to appeal to young people. Using it can encourage young people to listen to you, and to trust and take on board what you are saying.