Giving consent is when you clearly agree to take part in any sexual activity.
If someone seems unsure, stays silent, doesn’t respond, or says ‘maybe’ this isn’t consent. Having sex without consent is wrong and illegal.
You always have the right to say no to any form of sexual activity. And you can agree to do something then change your mind – everyone has the right to do this, even if you are in a long-term relationship or married.
Giving and getting consent may feel awkward. But being able to share what you feel comfortable with will make the experience of sex more enjoyable.
When someone clearly agrees to a sexual activity, they are giving their informed consent. Sex without informed consent is wrong and illegal.
If you feel pressured to have sex or too afraid to say no that’s not OK, and is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This is a common situation that many young people face, especially when they are in a relationship with someone older.
Whether you’re getting closer and about to start having sex or you’re already ‘in the moment’, consent is all about good communication.
Giving consent can look like:
clearly agreeing to a sexual activity either by saying yes, or something else positive like “I’d like to try that”
using physical cues, like letting out a sigh, responding with a similar touch or looking your partner in the eye and smiling.
Getting consent can look like:
asking “Is this okay?” and getting a clear and positive response
talking about what you do and don’t want to do before you start.
Consent is NOT:
ignoring when someone says no
assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for more
when someone is under the legal age of consent (a law that states how old someone has to be to legally consent to have sex) – this is classified as child abuse or rape in many countries
when someone is not able to make a choice because of drugs or alcohol
when someone feels pressured into having sex.
Remember, you should not assume that your partner will want to have sex just because you’ve had sex with them before – you need to get informed consent every time you are intimate with someone!
Many girls grow up being told that saying “no” to men is wrong. This can make it really difficult to say no to sexual activities, even if you want to.
But remember, everyone has the right to say no to any form of sexual activity. It doesn’t matter who the other person is, whether it’s your first time with them, you’re married or in a long-term relationship, or what you’ve done with them or others before.
It’s fine! Remember, you can say “no” (withdraw your consent) at any stage – you don’t have to have a reason. Your partner should respect your decision and stop straight away.
Giving consent for one type of sexual activity doesn’t mean you’re giving consent to go further. Agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to them taking your clothes off, for example.
They may say it in other ways, like “not right now”, “I’m not sure”, or they might stay silent. Their body language might also be a signal – they may turn away, curl up, or not respond.
Sometimes our bodies will be turned on but we don’t want to be touched. But even if a penis is erect or the vagina is wet – it’s not an automatic invitation. That’s why it’s always important to check.
Here are a few questions to help kick-off discussions on the issues you need to talk about! You can share them on social, on WhatsApp or just get talking.
First of all, it’s not your fault and it’s never ok. You might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not. Experiences like this are unfortunately common and there are people who can help and support you.
As hard as it might feel, it’s a good idea to tell someone you trust about what has happened. They can help you get the support you need. They could also go with you to the police, but only if you feel you want to.
It can really help to talk to people who have gone through similar things – you can do this by trying a support group or an online forum.
Remember to listen, believe them and do not judge – the more supported someone feels, the easier it will be for them to open up.
Help them understand that what has happened isn’t their fault. When they are ready, talk to them about the range of support on offer – it’s a good idea to research organisations and support groups in your area beforehand.
Let the person know that what they have experienced is a crime, but don’t pressure them to go to the police or tell others if they are not ready.
If someone has had sex without a condom, speak to them about getting tested for sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, and accessing emergency contraception if they need to. These things might feel overwhelming, so it is a good idea to introduce them gradually, when the moment is right.
Conversations about consent can help young people speak up if they have been forced into sex. It can also make them feel more comfortable to say no to things they don’t want to do or improve the way they treat their partners.
But talking about consent can bring up past traumas. If you talk about consent, especially in a group situation, look out for people’s body language or other signs that they are feeling upset or uncomfortable. If this happens, find a time speak to them in private but don’t push them to explain anything – just let them know you are willing to listen if they want to talk.
When someone clearly agrees to a sexual activity, they are giving their informed consent. Sex without informed consent is wrong and illegal.
If you feel pressured to have sex or too afraid to say no that’s not OK, and is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This is a common situation that many young people face, especially when they are in a relationship with someone older.
Whether you’re getting closer and about to start having sex or you’re already ‘in the moment’, consent is all about good communication.
Giving consent can look like:
clearly agreeing to a sexual activity either by saying yes, or something else positive like “I’d like to try that”
using physical cues, like letting out a sigh, responding with a similar touch or looking your partner in the eye and smiling.
Getting consent can look like:
asking “Is this okay?” and getting a clear and positive response
talking about what you do and don’t want to do before you start.
Consent is NOT:
ignoring when someone says no
assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for more
when someone is under the legal age of consent (a law that states how old someone has to be to legally consent to have sex) – this is classified as child abuse or rape in many countries
when someone is not able to make a choice because of drugs or alcohol
when someone feels pressured into having sex.
Remember, you should not assume that your partner will want to have sex just because you’ve had sex with them before – you need to get informed consent every time you are intimate with someone!
Many girls grow up being told that saying “no” to men is wrong. This can make it really difficult to say no to sexual activities, even if you want to.
But remember, everyone has the right to say no to any form of sexual activity. It doesn’t matter who the other person is, whether it’s your first time with them, you’re married or in a long-term relationship, or what you’ve done with them or others before.
It’s fine! Remember, you can say “no” (withdraw your consent) at any stage – you don’t have to have a reason. Your partner should respect your decision and stop straight away.
Giving consent for one type of sexual activity doesn’t mean you’re giving consent to go further. Agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to them taking your clothes off, for example.
They may say it in other ways, like “not right now”, “I’m not sure”, or they might stay silent. Their body language might also be a signal – they may turn away, curl up, or not respond.
Sometimes our bodies will be turned on but we don’t want to be touched. But even if a penis is erect or the vagina is wet – it’s not an automatic invitation. That’s why it’s always important to check.
Here are a few questions to help kick-off discussions on the issues you need to talk about! You can share them on social, on WhatsApp or just get talking.
First of all, it’s not your fault and it’s never ok. You might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not. Experiences like this are unfortunately common and there are people who can help and support you.
As hard as it might feel, it’s a good idea to tell someone you trust about what has happened. They can help you get the support you need. They could also go with you to the police, but only if you feel you want to.
It can really help to talk to people who have gone through similar things – you can do this by trying a support group or an online forum.
Remember to listen, believe them and do not judge – the more supported someone feels, the easier it will be for them to open up.
Help them understand that what has happened isn’t their fault. When they are ready, talk to them about the range of support on offer – it’s a good idea to research organisations and support groups in your area beforehand.
Let the person know that what they have experienced is a crime, but don’t pressure them to go to the police or tell others if they are not ready.
If someone has had sex without a condom, speak to them about getting tested for sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, and accessing emergency contraception if they need to. These things might feel overwhelming, so it is a good idea to introduce them gradually, when the moment is right.
Conversations about consent can help young people speak up if they have been forced into sex. It can also make them feel more comfortable to say no to things they don’t want to do or improve the way they treat their partners.
But talking about consent can bring up past traumas. If you talk about consent, especially in a group situation, look out for people’s body language or other signs that they are feeling upset or uncomfortable. If this happens, find a time speak to them in private but don’t push them to explain anything – just let them know you are willing to listen if they want to talk.
