Pbae (PB): Hey Inno, tonight is the night. Are you ready?
Inno (IN): Yeah, I am Pbae. But I’m a bit freaked. What if I do something wrong?
PB: No one’s looking. It’s just us.
IN: But imagine if they were! Imagine if we were like in the major league sex games! With commentators!
Commentator Bakari (CB): For those of you who are new to the sex games, the rules are simple. The two lovers stimulate each other in whichever way they see fit and the aim is to get the other as excited as possible without making the other one annoyed or anxious.
CK: The fight is over when one of them ejaculates or screams so loudly that the neighbours complain. But there are no winners, this is sex and both contestants are in it for the love and the fun.
Commentator Bakari (CB): And they are off! Inno leads with a swift removal of Pbae’s clothes.
Commentator Kalunde (CK): But now she's gaining ground! Inno’s shirt and trousers are on the floor!
CB: She’s pushed him over and he’s absolutely helpless!
CK: Now she’s armed and ready. She has a condom. But can she open the packet?
CB: He’s taken control, grabbed the packet, tearing it open...
CK: He’s pulled it out and slapped it on…
CB: Oh no! He’s put it on the wrong way round! This is a disaster!
CK: She’s taken the situation into her hands, chucking the condom in the bin with perfect accuracy and opening a new one.
CB: He’s got it on the right way this time. Superb. Now he’s climbing forward…
CK: She’s left an opening for him…
CB: Wait! He’s stopped… He’s asking her something… He’s checking if she’s ready…
CK: What great moves from Inno, giving her time, checking she’s OK.
CB: Oh we have an entry! This is now a very tense moment for Inno – his first ever entry!
CK: Can he hold it?
CB: Well, I think the game may be in Pbae’s hands, she’s leapt on top.
CK: And it’s go go go...
CB: His eyes are looking up to the heavens, but no one can help him now!
CK: Ohhhh! If I’m not much mistaken, we have an ejaculation! It’s a knockout by PBae!
CB: Hold on, if you check the replay, you can see Inno held back just enough for Pbae to cry out.
CK: You’re right! That is a scream of pure joy from PBae!
CB: Well, this looks like a draw.
CK: Maaaaagnificent! What superb, professional play for this pair of plucky first-timers.
PB: Oh Inno, that was – wow…
IN: Best of three? You’re on!
SFX: RING OF A BELL [DING DING!]
CB: So, if you want to get into the sex game and want to know more about the rules, please check out the website “Be In The Know”.
CK: Yes that’s right! Be a sex pro and Be In The Know!
