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Personal story: Greta

I couldn’t say no because I was afraid to lose him

Laughing african american woman in a yellow shirt in the city with streets, trees and buildings in the background
Photo credit: ©iStock/DMEPhotography. Photos are used for illustrative purposes. They do not imply health status or behaviour.

"I’m 19 and losing my virginity was really hard. I never really felt ready to lose it to my boyfriend. One day I decided to visit him like I always did but this time it was different. He asked me for sex like he always did but this time, I couldn’t say no because I was afraid to lose him.

I agreed to have sex and it was so painful. It was something I later regretted but I can't live in regret all my life.

It’s important to always do what you feel is right. Never give in to sex for fear of losing your partner. Always remember your body is yours."

What we say

Greta felt under pressure from her boyfriend to have sex. She said yes in the end because she was scared she’d lose him which she later regretted. It can be very hard to keep your needs in mind when under pressure from someone else, but remember that what you do with your body is always your choice. Read our page Am I ready for sex? and watch our video on how to say no for more information.

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These personal stories have been submitted to us anonymously by individuals who use our site. Some of the stories have been edited for clarity purposes and names have been changed to protect identities.

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  • Last updated: 14 November 2022
  • Last full review: 01 March 2022
  • Next full review: 01 March 2025
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