Skip to main content

Personal story: Nemy

My virginity feels like that one thing that adds tremendous value to my life

Close up side portrait of young black woman in the city
Photo credit: ©iStock/m-imagephotography. Photos are used for illustrative purposes. They do not imply health status or behaviour.

"I am 17 and still a virgin. I've just completed high school, and as much as I've been in situations where it could easily have happened, I have never ever allowed it to.

The first guy who initiated it, when I was only 14, almost succeeded, but I kept on remembering my values and the principles I had set for myself. He was totally wrong for me anyway, definitely not the kind of man I wanted to give that special part of myself to. Since then, my mind never wavered regarding the matter. I am guilty however, of having led a couple of guys on, despite knowing I would never do it.

Now I have met a wonderful guy, we first set eyes on each other 2 years ago. He is sweet, caring and really loves me. However, the issue of sex has come up again. I am not ready to go all the way. As much as I feel I can't wait for marriage, I also feel it would be worth the wait. I have told him of my concerns, at first he understood but now claims he's been waiting for me and only me, we would get married later etc.

He's already occupied a manly role in my life, at just 18. It still doesn't change my mind. I know I might disappoint him, but my virginity feels like that one thing that adds tremendous value to my life."

What we say

Sex is a very personal thing. Only you can decide when the time is right to do it for the first time. There are a lot of wrong reasons to have sex and being pressured into it is one of them. Like Nemy, you may not be ready. Talking with your partner or friends about how you’re feeling can help you feel more in control and at ease about the situation. For more information, check out our Am I ready for sex? page.

Do you have your own story to tell? Click the link to share it with us!

These personal stories have been submitted to us anonymously by individuals who use our site. Some of the stories have been edited for clarity purposes and names have been changed to protect identities.

Explore more

Still can't find what you're looking for?

Share this page

  • Last updated: 14 November 2022
  • Last full review: 01 March 2022
  • Next full review: 01 March 2025
Did you find this page useful?
See what data we collect and why